Since that day, the tightness in my chest still remains. It ebbs and flows, but never truly disappears. For the first few days it was hard to breathe. Each step felt like a mile. Each morning I kept waking up, hoping it was all just a dream. My vision was cloudy; my eyes were a glistening crystal-clear window into the sadness in my soul. They say it takes time to heal, but it seems that time has frozen.
All throughout my life I have been drawn to compassion. Giving to others brings such a pure happiness and elation to my entire being. I love getting to know what has guided others throughout their lives,what has brought them joy, sadness, grief, passion, and every variety of emotion that we can express. Everyone has their own unique light to add to the world, and I love seeing it shine. Compassion is truly the gift that keeps on giving, but it is also one of the rarest gifts of all.
It takes the same amount of effort to love as it does to hate. But why, then, does the latter seem to be more pronounced in the world? Well, perhaps it’s because it’s often easier to see differences over similarities. We look for what makes us different, not the same. In reality, we all have something in common. We just need to take off the blinders to see it. We love to feel safe. We love to feel loved. We love to feel alive. We love to adventure. To play. To learn. To laugh. None of us are immune to sadness. To pain. To loss. To anger. To fear. To heartbreak. The beauty of life is something that we all share. And there’s nothing that can change that.
I do not write this to disparage, in fact, that would be the opposite of my intention. I write this as an invitation to reflect. To open your eyes to what is around you, and think about how you relate to the world around you. And ask yourself this: how does compassion fit into my life?
In my own life experience, compassion has meant transitioning to a vegan lifestyle and valuing all life. It has meant giving back to my community and helping others as much as I can. It has meant embracing minimalism, and living simply so that others may simply live. It has meant smiling at every person I pass, and learning more about their lives. It has meant letting go of anger and instead providing support. It has meant loving myself as much as I love others.
Compassion has a domino effect in this world, one kind act leads to another and another. It adds to your own happiness as well as that of others. It changes the path of action, and calls for healing in times of pain. It brings us closer together, and allows us all to see what makes us the same not what makes us different.
I write this today to ask you to both reflect and enact on compassion. One small compassionate change can make a world of difference.
© 2017 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
Today’s post is one of the most personal posts that I have written on my blog, but it is something that I’ve wanted to write about for a while (especially with my new interests this year, and with my experiences). I am only writing about my own experiences, and in no way want to promote one way of living over another. My personal journey with makeup has spanned many perspectives, and I think they were all valuable for me during each phase of my life thus far. 🙂 My taste and interest in makeup has been something that has changed alongside me, and I wanted to write about that journey since I am embarking on a new one this year.
I started wearing makeup during my junior year of high school. I had problem skin for most of my early teen years, but only started to grow self-conscious about it when I was about sixteen years old. I didn’t know the first place to start with makeup, but I was constantly feeling uncomfortable about my appearance. Part of me wanted to start my journey into makeup to boost my confidence, but part of me wanted to feel as though I didn’t need makeup to feel confident in myself. I started looking online for inspiration, and found makeup tips from articles on Pinterest and YouTube tutorials.
I started my journey with very minimal and basic makeup, and learned from trial and error about what best suited my skin. Over the years I discovered that I have quite sensitive skin, which eliminated wearing foundation and other higher coverage concealers as options. I started to straighten my hair and wear more makeup over time, trying new products until I finally reached a point where I knew what worked best for my skin.
When I entered the world of blogging, I started to learn more about different products and brands. Makeup shifted from being something I did to gain more confidence to something I enjoyed for myself. I loved learning about new makeup techniques and products, and trying them out for myself. It became a hobby of mine, especially in college where I was able to learn how to create more professional and everyday looks. When I started on my vegan journey during my second semester, I began to think about looking into cruelty-free makeup brands. This created a new shift in how I related to makeup, and I started to prefer more natural looks with products that contained natural ingredients. I learned more about what products I liked to use (I did an E.L.F. and ULTA haul a few months ago 🙂 ), and my interest in makeup and skincare grew.
My time in college has caused many a breakout, which I initially thought was due to stress (and I am sure that stress was definitely a factor), but I discovered that on the days I didn’t wear makeup (often weekends), my skin would be a lot less temperamental. I also found that I was slowly going back to being less confident in myself. When I looked in the mirror with no makeup on, all I thought was “wow I look exhausted, I need to fix that”. But my way of fixing it was to cover it up instead of get at the root of what was causing my skin woes.
Once I started winter break, I didn’t wear makeup as often. I started to see improvements in my skin, and felt less like I needed makeup to look more awake and energized. It was then that I started to realize that wearing makeup was allowing me to create a temporary solution to the root of a lot of my skin problems. I had also developed so much as a person over the course of my time in college that I felt more confident in my direction and in my interests. I no longer felt as though I needed makeup to gain confidence, but I did feel as though I needed it to feel and look more awake and present. This shift in mentality coincided with a shift in interest away from makeup and towards skincare. Taking care of my skin started to be more of a priority (and as some of you may know, I started to become a bit obsessed with face masks after a long day 🙂 ). I found that as I focused more on my hydration, nutrition, and skincare, I didn’t feel as though I needed makeup to feel more present.
My interest in minimalism and more natural living over the past few months also contributed to this shift, and I decided at the beginning of this year to officially go without makeup. I’ll be honest, at first it was a bit difficult to feel as confident on a daily basis because I felt as though I was missing a part of my routine. When I looked in the mirror, it was surprising sometimes to see my reflection. But as the days went on, I started to be truly comfortable in my own skin yet again. I became more focused on my skincare routine and making sure that I was staying as healthy as possible. As the days went on it became even easier to let go of cosmetics. There hasn’t yet been a time when I felt as though I would be happier if I were wearing makeup.
My interests have always shifted alongside my life changes, and makeup has been one of those interests. Though I am no longer interested in it for my current path, I think it is absolutely wonderful when people are. There was definitely a time when it added so much to my own happiness and became a hobby of mine that I loved investing time in, and I love watching other people feel the same way. I wanted to write this post as a way of revisiting how my life has changed, and how my interest in makeup has changed with it. A year ago, or even a few months ago, the decision to not wear makeup wouldn’t have been one that matched my lifestyle.
I think it’s really important to live with intention, and to do everything that you do with love and passion. I have been reading about intentionality quite a bit recently, and being able to love everything that you do is such an amazing feeling. I think that it’s natural to have shifting interests in life, and they are all valuable to who we are in the moment that we are living them.
I’m embracing this new year with new visions, but still remember fondly the interests that I have left behind. I hope that you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. 🙂
©2017 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
I would like to thank Solo for sponsoring this post, and thank you for supporting the brands that make The Wise Willow possible! All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This year is already going by so fast! The months just seem to go by faster and faster, and before I know it I will be back to start another semester. This week I will be traveling for vacation before the new semester starts, and finding a bag that is perfect for travel can be difficult. Now that I am embracing a minimalist lifestyle, I was looking for a bag that would support my college and professional lifestyle.
I found the Urban Code Endeavor backpack while searching for such a bag, and knew that it would be perfect for my goals this year. I will be traveling more often, and going between work and classes during my everyday hustle. I bring my laptop with me everywhere I go, as well as charger cords, headphones, course materials, and vegan goodies.
The Urban Code Endeavor bag fits laptops up to 15.6″, which is perfect for me since I have a 13″ computer. It has a variety of pockets, which is what I love about it (because I love to have my cords, writing utensils, and snacks in separate places). The bag is made out of high-quality material, which is perfect for someone like me who may or may not carry around a bit too much on a daily basis. The zippers are sturdy, and there is a key chain hook on the front for displaying your favorite accessories. As a minimalist, I am looking to have multipurpose belongings that will travel with me wherever I end up going. And this bag does just that! It’s perfectly sized for the airport, and it’s front-facing pockets make taking liquids and other items out easy (especially for those stressful security lines).
One of the best features of the bag is its back and shoulder padding. I’m someone who gets muscle tension quite easily, and having a bag with great support helps to alleviate tension headaches and back pain from what I usually carry around on a daily basis (or long days of travel).
The look of the bag is perfect for anyone, and matches any outfit. I’m not generally a fashionable person (as people who know me well would say, I quite like to be tacky). However, this bag is stylish and matches even my craziest outfit combinations.
The bag has a five-year warranty, and is designed for city living. I plan on using it for all of my daily excursions and travel adventures! If you would like to learn more about the bag, click here! There are also many other styles to choose from, so you will definitely find something that suits your lifestyle!
©2017 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
A New Year is here! And with it many inspirations from the past year. 2016 was a whirlwind year for me, and brought significant change for me personally, academically, and experientially. I learned more than I ever thought I could, and I found the directions I want to go in this year*.
At the beginning of 2016 I was still a first year in college, experiencing health problems and struggling emotionally (this was when I wrote many of my posts about rising above struggle, and letting go of expectations). I leaped out of my comfort zone as a result, and my entire life changed before my eyes. I became a more outgoing person with new goals and experiences, a new holistic community, and a focus on wellness. I transitioned to a vegan diet, and entered the summer with a new outlook.
Over the summer I lived on my own, worked forty hours a week, and learned many things about being in the adult world. I returned to college with a greater sense of self, and a comfort with navigating the real world as an adult. I turned 20 in September, and entered a new decade of my life.
In August, before I started my second year, I got a nose piercing to symbolize this new decade. This was a huge leap for me, and I am so glad that I took that step. It has become a large part of my identity this year, and I’ve never looked back.
As I enter this new year, more experiences lie ahead of me. With it comes more change, but change is something I’m no longer afraid of. In fact, I welcome it. Change allows me to grow, and to have experiences that lead to new interests and passions.
As I go into the new year, I have new visions for where my life is leading me. As I mentioned my previous post, I hope to begin a journey in minimalism this year. Now that I have focused on what fuels my body, I have become more aware of what fuels my soul. I have had an interest in minimalism for a while, and the documentary Minimalism (available on Netflix, and I highly recommend it!) reinforced my interest. With this I also hope to start living a zero waste lifestyle. Making my own products (toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, etc.) will save me a lot of money (which is important for my college student budget) and make using vegan products easier. I have also noticed that my body has become more sensitive to products now that I am vegan, so natural skincare and haircare makes complete sense.
I hope to reduce my coffee cup waste, skincare waste, and other products. I have been doing research about the steps that I can take as a college student to reduce my waste, and have found a number of sustainable options that are worth investing in. For example, dryer sheets are something that add a lot of waste and toxins to the environment. There are alternatives (even vegan ones) such as bamboo dryer balls. These are reusable and contain essential oils! There are also reusable produce bags (to eliminate plastic bag waste), reusable cotton rounds for skincare use, and natural alternatives to sponges for dish washing. I also hope to reduce my plastic use (by using a bamboo toothbrush and metal containers). While this will be a gradual process, it feels like a natural extension of my life journey with plant-based foods and vegan makeup.
Another journey that I am hoping to begin is that of no makeup. I started wearing makeup during my junior year of high school to boost my body confidence. I continued wearing makeup ever since, mostly to make myself look more awake now that I am in college. However, my acne has started to reappear and my makeup use may be contributing. Now that my body is more sensitive to chemicals, I have adverse reactions to products I didn’t used to react to. I have become a lot more confident in how I look without makeup, and thought that it would be a good time to start this journey. Not only would it be better for my skin, it would save me money and time. Instead of makeup, I am going to invest in natural skincare (coconut oil, etc.) to keep my skin healthy and to eliminate chemicals.
This is a lot to tackle in one year, but natural living has been something I have wanted to pursue for years now. Ever since I started watching Raw Alignment on YouTube, living a natural lifestyle has become more realistic for me. I can’t wait to share these new journeys with you, and to keep having life-changing adventures! As always, feel free to message me if you’re also interested in these lifestyle changes! I would love to collaborate and learn from your experiences!
What are you hoping to achieve in 2017?
©2017 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
*Instead of resolutions I love to find what has worked for me to continue or expand upon in the upcoming year, and move on from what didn’t work.
When 2016 was beginning, I had no idea that I was going to be transitioning to a vegan lifestyle and starting the process of living a more natural and balanced life. It was quite a journey (in fact, the beginning of 2016 feels like forever ago) and I am yet again ready to begin another journey that will lead me to be more aligned with my true self.
When I went to college, I did what most college students do: look online for lists of what I needed to bring with me. I went out and bought all that I ‘needed,’ and I can vouch for how heavy my boxes and bags were when I was bringing them to my first-year room! I had things that I was going to maybe need, and since I was just about to start living on my own I thought I needed to be prepared for everything. As the year progressed, I used about one third of all that I brought. Realizing this, over the summer I made an effort to significantly reduce what I was bringing, and I learned through experience. I reduced everything to the minimal amount possible, and was able to unpack and decorate in record time. Not only that, my room felt like a sanctuary from the start and I knew where everything was.
As this past semester came to a close, I had a wonderful experience with ThredUp. When I realized the practicality on a multitude of measures of investing in secondhand clothes, I know that I will never go back. I was able to purchase clothes I was interested in, and go through my closet and my dresser to figure out what I no longer needed. I sent a full bag of clothes back to ThredUp, and now have an aspiration to clean out every time I invest in new clothing.
Now that I have had time to think about where I want my life (and my blog) to go in 2017, the concept of minimalism resonated with me and my values. As many of you probably know, I have always tried to live by the mantra: live simply so that others may simply live. I’m in a unique position of being in college and not having many personal possessions, which to me is a wonderful place to start. I made sure to go through my belongings before starting my first year of college, and have generally been pretty aware of my consumption. That being said, I was able to donate quite a bit of items at the end of my first year and at the end of last semester. Every time I cleaned out my items, I felt physically lighter knowing that those items would be put to better use. I also started reading from the local library or on an e-reader to save money and space, because my love for reading often leads to clutter (and I am one of those people who only reads books once, unless they’re amazing which has definitely happened!).
But as I look at what I own, there are a lot of things that I could live without. As I have been doing some research about minimalism, I realize that many people have gone quite a few years out of college and into adult life before considering this path. Since I already went through that process, I feel as though I can start actively living a minimalist lifestyle and focusing on being present in what truly matters.
Yesterday I watched a documentary on Netflix called Minimalism, and it further confirmed my interest in this lifestyle. It was extremely well produced, and I now follow The Minimalists on Twitter and Facebook, and listen to their podcasts online. I have found several other resources as well that have helped me start this journey, and if you have any suggestions for other resources I would love to hear them! Experiences like this are really about learning together, so I would love to hear what your experiences have been, what interests you about minimalism, and what your journey has been! Let me know in the comments or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org!
For the New Year I hope to start a series on this blog devoted to minimalist living (especially being a minimalist in college), and share the resources that I have found with you if you are also interested in this lifestyle!
©2016 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
Winter has officially arrived (the snow is falling as I type this), and with it the woes of winter skin. Many of you probably know that I’m a little bit obsessed with skincare, because when my skin is healthy I feel amazing all around! There are small, everyday things that I do to keep my skin healthy like hydrating and eating nutritious foods, but in the winter my skin definitely needs all the help it can get!
I thought I would show you all of my winter skincare essentials, and what my winter skincare routine is (especially for Finals!). At the end of this post there is an exciting giveaway announcement, so stay tuned! 🙂
Winter Skincare Essentials: Face Masks
Face masks are one of the most relaxing ways to take care of your skin in the winter. I love to put one on while I am cleaning my room, reading for a class, writing a paper, or relaxing and watching YouTube. They are very versatile and each have their own benefits for your skin! I have been loving three that I recently got, and they have helped to keep my skin clear when it normally flares up from stress.
The first two that I am loving at the moment are both from the Feeling Beautiful line: the Dead Sea Minerals Anti-Stress Mask and the Sparkling Pear Pore Cleansing Mask. Both of these are very cooling for the skin, and each have their own benefits depending on what your skin is in need of. I love to use the Anti-Stress mask to calm irritated skin, or when the wind has been particularly harsh.
It tones down redness and calms irritations! The Pore Cleansing mask is perfect for when you feel as though your skin needs a little extra detox from the stress and environment of exams and hectic schedules. One of the things that I love most about these masks is that they don’t dry and crumble like most masks I’m used to. I’m not sure why, but I am definitely not a fan of that tight and crumbly feeling, so I love these for that reason. They are also quite cheap, and the bottles are huge! They are perfect for ending the semester on a good note.
I am also loving the often-raved about Elizavecca Milky Piggy Carbonated Bubble Clay Mask. I was given this as a holiday gift and tried it out today after coming back from a long paper writing session at the library. Besides the fact that it has an adorable pig wearing a face mask on the front (and we all know how much I love pigs…), this is one of the strangest masks I have ever tried. It has a very odd consistency, and when you put it on your face it tingles and foams up. After about six minutes the mask is completely foamy! As soon as I washed it off (which definitely took some effort because there was a layer of product under the foam) my skin felt very hydrated and healthy! I highly recommend it, especially since it always gets some great laughs and is a fun way to take care of your skin! 🙂
Winter Skincare Essentials: Moisturizer
Over the years I have come to realize the importance of wearing sunscreen on your face every day. This may sound odd to some people, especially during the winter, but the sun’s rays are damaging to skin all year round. I started using sunscreen on a daily basis a few years ago, and the difference is phenomenal. All of my dull skin is gone, and my skin is left a lot softer and hydrated.
I love moisturizers that have SPF in them, as this is a great way to combine the benefits of both. The moisturizer that I have been loving lately is the Lumene Bright Now Vitamin C Moisturizer in SPF 15. This moisturizer wakes up your skin with Vitamin C extracts, and also protects it with its sunscreen formula. It wears well under makeup, and isn’t oily on the skin. I wear this under another tinted sunscreen for my skincare routine, as this gives my skin an even tone.
Winter Skincare Essentials: Facial Cleansing Tools
I have always gone the route of using my hands to apply facial cleanser, without thinking too much about it. When I was on ULTA the other day, I saw the Dual Action Cleansing System and knew I had to look up reviews and learn more. The reviews were raving, and I thought I might as well try it out (especially since I was approaching one of the most stressful times of the semester).
In all honesty, my skin has never felt cleaner. The brush isn’t too rough, and never leaves any irritation. It cleans away more dirt than I thought possible to have on my face after washing it with a facial wipe and balancing toner. I use it with my Burts Bees Deep Cleansing Cream, which has menthol in it for soothing irritation and cleaning pores.
I use this brush at night to make sure that I thoroughly cleanse my face of all impurities before bed, but don’t use it twice a day just to make sure that no irritation develops. In the morning I use my balancing toner instead to cleanse my face before applying moisturizer and sunscreen. So far my skin has improved, and it feels much cleaner with this new routine!
I knew that I had to give one of these cleansing brushes away, because I am such a huge fan! I am running a giveaway through the New Year, which is open to all U.S. residents. I promise I will have a worldwide giveaway at some point! 🙂 Enter below (there are three different ways to enter), and good luck!
Click the link below to enter! 🙂
a Rafflecopter giveaway
©2016 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
When I was younger, creativity was a natural part of my life. I loved to read, write, draw, and imagine. It was a natural extension of my true self, and how I spent much of my time. As I got older, this creativity got replaced with obligations and other interests and started to lose its second nature feeling. At the beginning of high school, I would dread “creative” projects because I felt as though I no longer had the ability to construct something with loose guidelines. This sentiment continued for quite some time, until I stumbled upon Pinterest (and eventually the world of blogging).
I started to remember my interest in creative endeavors (especially related to writing), and it felt as though I was reconnecting with something that I forgot I ever had. It has now been over a year since I started this creative journey, and took on the title of a “creative”. I have learned so much since embracing this title, especially since, for a time, I didn’t think it would apply to me.
Being a part of the creative world has taught me that everyone is creative. Creativity comes in so many forms, and there is something that everyone can contribute to. When I got older, I became more judgmental of my creative forms instead of embracing them as my own. I started comparing them to the endeavors of others, and gave many of them up because I felt as though I was not meant to pursue creative journeys. But comparison really is the thief of joy. What was once fun and relaxing turned into a stressful pursuit of hoping the final product would be something I was proud of, and something I wanted others to see. I lost my own creative touch, and instead focused too much on what I thought were mistakes. I took someone else’s pursuits and made them my ideal, instead of focusing on what I loved about what I was doing.
Blogging has taught me how to embrace and love my creative energy. I no longer strive to be like the ‘ideal,’ I only strive to be happy and to have joy. I will make clay sculptures to release tension and stress, and by embracing my energy I love the end result. Instead of extensively planning the process so that the result turns out like I think I want it to, I allow my creative imagination to take control and make spontaneous decisions. This is how I write as well. I think about what I feel inspired to write about more generally, but let my imagination and creativity take the lead. I tap into my thoughts, dreams, inspirations, and passions to create something that I truly love. This is the beauty of embracing your own creative.
I have become a huge proponent of collaboration over competition, because everyone’s creativity is different. All creativity is valuable, and when you work with others the result can be wonderful. Combining unique creative energies is a wonderful way to add to the creative world, and to learn about the thoughts, passions, and dreams of others.
I encourage you to dive right into the creative world, especially with something you have never tried before. You never know where your passions lie, and you could discover something truly life-changing. I rediscovered my love of writing through blogging, but more importantly, I rediscovered my creative joy. I’ve learned how to apply my interest in art and visuals to my graphic design elements, and I’ve used my blog as a way to explore other interests and step outside of my comfort zone.
Delving back into the world of creativity has led me to rediscover the spark that comes with creative imagination. I see the world in a different light, one full of potential and passion. If something characteristically negative happens, I think about what it has taught me and how I can portray that in writing or visuals. I think about where my true emotional energy stems from, and how I can tap into that to create projects that bring me (and hopefully others!) joy.
Creativity has yet again become second nature for me, and has found a new place in my life. I love sharing my take on the world with others, and hearing about their own pursuits and endeavors.
As I finish off my semester, I have been thinking about how creativity has provided me with a constructive and valuable release for all that I have encountered. It has helped me reframe my state of mind, turning negatives into positive learning experiences and reflections. I have learned and pursued new interests, and changed my mindset. What has creativity taught you? I’d love to hear in the comments! 🙂
©2016 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.
As the year starts to near its close, I’ve been reflecting on what has had a significant impact on me in 2016. As I thought through everything that has impacted me this year, there was an underlying element that connected it all: kindness. Kindness was present in everything that has influenced me this year, and is a value that I have prioritized in my own visions.
As I have grown older, the concept of giving to others has become a large part of the values that I cherish. Giving to others fills my heart and soul with such warmth, happiness, and gratitude that I couldn’t imagine my life without it. Kindness fosters connection, and connection fosters community, and community fosters love. This year, though it has been one of the most challenging years I have experienced, has been full of love. Love from all of the connections and communities that I have made brightens all of my days.
So how did this become such a large part of my life? When I was younger, volunteer work was something that brought me immense joy. I loved to help others, and I gained many relationships from those experiences. In high school I had more difficulty bringing the kindness I cherished into my school life, and that was something that I chose to change once I came to college. I was more reserved in high school, and I didn’t portray positivity and kindness as often as I do now. If there is something that I have learned, it is that the vibes that you embody provide a glimpse into your character. Over the past year I have become more aligned with my true self, and my compassion and kindness shows with little effort in all situations.
My transition to veganism created a new sphere of kindness in my heart and mind, and brought a new community of like-minded individuals into my life. My blog gave me connections with creatives that inspire me every day. My blogging journey has been all about collaboration over competition, and I am beyond grateful for the supportive community that I have become a part of.
Though it has given me many benefits, kindness hasn’t always been the easiest path. But the communities that I have become a part of have motivated me to keep my passion for positivity and compassion a priority. As Lilly Singh (AKA Superwoman) and Humble the Poet often emphasize, promote what you love. This resonates with me, because the antithesis to kindness and compassion is negativity and enmity. Instead of reciprocating in those situations with negativity and enmity of my own, I channel gratitude and compassion. I promote what I love, and encourage others to do the same.
The quote “happy mind happy life” resonates with this practice because I have found it to be brimming with truth. As soon as you change your perspective, you change your life. If something goes wrong, my mind now searches for a positive (or a bit of humor to lighten the situation). I celebrate all of my successes and failures, the latter especially after reading an article about how a family would hold rounds of applause for their biggest failures each day. Failure is a way to grow, and when you look at it in that light you start moving in the right direction. Success and failure both lead in the same direction, though at different paces. Being kind to yourself is the first step to being kind with others. The more you love yourself, the more you can spread that love to those around you.
There will be times throughout the day where I catch myself saying “you got this,” “that was pretty impressive,” and other such phrases to myself. I have gotten in the habit of speaking as kindly to myself as I aspire to speak to others, and the results have been amazing. What was once “I can’t believe you couldn’t do that” has now become “you did the best that you could at the moment, and there are always more opportunities”. While it might not seem significant at first, being kind to yourself and celebrating your achievements changes your mindset. Positivity becomes second nature, and life gets that much brighter.
It has also helped me to deal with less than favorable circumstances. As you may know, Astrology has been a part of my life for a while now. When the planet Mercury (which is my ruling planet as a Virgo) goes into retrograde, the smallest inconveniences become frequent and magnified. For example, during a retrograde this year I was putting on one of my shoes and one of my shoelaces just managed to become completely undone and frayed in a matter of seconds before breaking to a length that couldn’t be tied. I had no explanation (and was also running late), so I grabbed my scissors, trimmed the lace to a workable shape, and tied it in a makeshift knot that would stay put for the time being. I laughed the entire time, wondering how it was possible for my perfectly functional and relatively new shoelace to seemingly combust in a matter of seconds. Instead of worrying about being more late, I found the humor and still remember it as a positive experience to this day.
Kindness to myself and others, as well as the pursuit of positivity, have made my life one I enjoy living. There are ups and downs, but more often than not I am happy and ready to handle what is thrown my way. As Cinderella states, we must always stay humble and kind, mustn’t we?
©2016 The Wise Willow and Alyssa DeBella. All rights reserved.